Hey guys!! I have something to discuss about. Well not really, some suggestions or comments would be good.
This is what I discussed with my mum last night.
I don't know what led to it, but we were talking about the time when the right guy would meet my parents. For my mum, she said that it's important to let the guy come and see my parents at my house, even when we're not serious. She said that, that way, my parents would get to see how he is, and when we're really serious, then we would go out alone. That's the TOTAL OPPOSITE of how I view "meeting the parents". I thought that when we're really serious about each other, then I would let him come to my house, and meet my parents, and not the other way round. Cuz to me, if the guy asks me to go and meet his parents, it's like a big thing. It's a sign that it's going to go even deeper from then on.
But for my mum, her concern is that, the guy and I shouldn't be seen together alone too often outside the house, cuz people would judge us and assume that we're together. If things go wrong between us, people might hesitate to come and approach me cuz I've been with a guy before. But my argument is that if the guy is at our house, I doubt he would behave like how he would usually do. He would feel the pressure, and be fully aware that my parents are looking, then his behaviour wouldn't be natural. That means that whatever my mum sees wouldn't be him at all. Right? On the other hand, if we go out and just, you know, hang out, he would have much more freedom and behave more naturally. Isn't that a better way to observe him? I was asking my sis in front of her, and my sis was like "wow, meet the parents would be as if we're going to get married or smth" Exactly! That's how serious I take it. But for my mum, that's just one way to observe the guy too. I know she means well, but I don't think that's the best way. She wouldn't be observing the real him. I know her way is more to the traditional way, where the parents have the right to control everything. She's putting herself first in my relationship. But it just doesn't feel right for me if a guy comes to my house, even when I'm not even sure about him myself. I mean, come on, my house, is like my territory. How can I let just someone to come? I don't mind the guy picking me up or when I'm not ready, he can wait and stuff. But not purposely come to my house, and do stuff in my house. It's just wrong for me. It doesn't feel right. Haha...apparently, it's kind of the tradition here in Indonesia...can you believe it? The Chinese here are so much more traditional than I expected.
Comments?
Names: [[Su Peng]] [[Xin Yi]] [[Wan Shi]] [[Winy]]
[[ Don't talk crap, it's fucking rude ]]
Hey guys!! I have something to discuss about. Well not really, some suggestions or comments would be good.
This is what I discussed with my mum last night.
I don't know what led to it, but we were talking about the time when the right guy would meet my parents. For my mum, she said that it's important to let the guy come and see my parents at my house, even when we're not serious. She said that, that way, my parents would get to see how he is, and when we're really serious, then we would go out alone. That's the TOTAL OPPOSITE of how I view "meeting the parents". I thought that when we're really serious about each other, then I would let him come to my house, and meet my parents, and not the other way round. Cuz to me, if the guy asks me to go and meet his parents, it's like a big thing. It's a sign that it's going to go even deeper from then on.
But for my mum, her concern is that, the guy and I shouldn't be seen together alone too often outside the house, cuz people would judge us and assume that we're together. If things go wrong between us, people might hesitate to come and approach me cuz I've been with a guy before. But my argument is that if the guy is at our house, I doubt he would behave like how he would usually do. He would feel the pressure, and be fully aware that my parents are looking, then his behaviour wouldn't be natural. That means that whatever my mum sees wouldn't be him at all. Right? On the other hand, if we go out and just, you know, hang out, he would have much more freedom and behave more naturally. Isn't that a better way to observe him? I was asking my sis in front of her, and my sis was like "wow, meet the parents would be as if we're going to get married or smth" Exactly! That's how serious I take it. But for my mum, that's just one way to observe the guy too. I know she means well, but I don't think that's the best way. She wouldn't be observing the real him. I know her way is more to the traditional way, where the parents have the right to control everything. She's putting herself first in my relationship. But it just doesn't feel right for me if a guy comes to my house, even when I'm not even sure about him myself. I mean, come on, my house, is like my territory. How can I let just someone to come? I don't mind the guy picking me up or when I'm not ready, he can wait and stuff. But not purposely come to my house, and do stuff in my house. It's just wrong for me. It doesn't feel right. Haha...apparently, it's kind of the tradition here in Indonesia...can you believe it? The Chinese here are so much more traditional than I expected.
Comments?